Beekeeper

One hundred nine. That's the number of Colorado vanity license plates. The plates are for fun, declaration, and are badges of honor.
Colorado vanity plates announce higher education, the lucky and not so lucky soldier, a particular dog breed, avian dominance, heritage, a couple of kindergarten rules, yea to the breasts but woe be the prostate and - 2hot4u - are the very personalized personal plates.

Drivers in all fifty states have plate options. Some titles seem to be someone's illusions of their state's attributes. Colorado easily basks in 362 days of sunshine a year however Florida, having no pride, took that one. Kentucky, the birth place of our 16th president, lost to Illinois as being the Land of Lincoln. New Hampshire's controversial plate, Live Free or Die, comes from a toast written by A.R.W. General Stark. The toast was made at a reunion of soldiers who had fought together in the Battle of Bennington. The battle took place in Vermont.

Texans gets crazy. They have plates for their Red Grapefruit, Smiling, and Reading. And they ask that God Bless Texas separately from the rest of the union.

Mississippi has plates for the diabetic and their family members as well as one for the Hearing Impaired. Marines are okay everywhere. Oregon thinks ducks are unlimited and Alaska, not space, is the Last Frontier.

Plates proclaming mental illness, praise for Satan or Allah are out.

Colorado's Share the Road is sported by vehicles but it's all about the bicycle. Respect Life comes not from the Sand Creek but the Columbine massacre. A hamburger gobbling driver whose mini van was festooned with pro-life stickers had that particular plate. "Respect Some Life" seems more appropriate.

There is no mention of the Ute Indians that once called present day Colorado their home however the Pioneer plate pays tribute to those who "settled" Colorado. It's a daily reminder to the Native Americans of just who killed their ancestors. Arizona respectfully acknowledges several Native Americans tribes.


Colorado doesn't have a plate proclaiming what makes the state great. For a time it was summed up with the adjective, Colorful. Colorado's wonder and definition is not in seasonal bursts of color or in the banality of our current plate of silhouetted mountains. We could - but for some reason, don't - have plates announcing our 52 fourteener's, The Great Sand Dunes, Rocky Ford Cantaloupe, The Colorado River or even the big hot dog on Highway 285.

On the 1958 plate, Colorful was accompanied by a skier. In 1959 the skier disappeared. A search and rescue party was never dispatched. Seems the skier landed on Utah's plate. Taking into consideration how the men of Utah deal with women it stands to reason that the skier is being held against her will.

Be it vanity or insecurity there is only a small percentage of the 6 billion people on the planet who need the plates. Fastened to both bumpers is the ostensible struggle between individuality and tribal affiliation.

Colorado needs to add beekeeprs to the list.